A Horrible Day with Mrs Bitters
by candelight
Summary: This teacher makes me laugh. Anyway, here is her terrible daily schedule. First Invader Zim fic ever! No flaming please!


A horrible day with Mrs. Bitters

This teacher makes me laugh. ^^ Anyway, here is her terrible daily schedule. First Invader Zim fic ever! No flaming please! Not for those with a weak stomach.....it made me feel nacuseous as well....I haven't watched that show since I was a kid...

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12:00 a.m: Rises at the crack of dawn as the iron bells finish ringing twelve times and fades eerily into the black night. Yawns and closes coffin shut.

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1:00 a.m: Can't decide what to wear: Black dress or Black cloak.

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1:30 a.m: Decides to wear both. Takes over the grim reaper's shift so he can have some shut eye.

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4:58 a.m: Has breakfast of eel eyes. They stay crunchy in milk.

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5:34 a.m: Despit moral outrage/fury/anguish/ballastic rage, must prepare for another dreadful day at School. Er......I mean _skool. _Prepares lesson on how universe will eventually implode in on itself in a firey ball of gas and grease.

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6:45 a.m: Birds are singing, the sun is shining, and squirrels twittering happily. Decides to put curse on them all as she hulks to school in the shadows. She can only survive so long in the sunight.

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7:00 a.m: Has a few minutes to herself before school.....skool starts. Reads Edgar Allen Poe for a moment.

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7:02 a.m: Throws Edgar Allen Poe in wastebasket, thinking that the man was too overly sweet and sentimental for her taste. Decides to compose a poem to read to the class today.

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7:05 a.m: The bell rings. Quickly puts on _Sallow On_-the latest that comes from Paris.

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7:10 a.m: Stares at children with beady eyes. After chanting "Doom....doom....doom...." to herself a few dozen times, assigns children project in which they must look up a particular animal of their choice. Tells them Bats and Vultures are worth extra credit.

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7:30 a.m: Zim exclaims, quite obviously, that Zim is an alien. This is ignored.

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7:34 a.m: Dib exclaims yet again, saying that Zim has GREEN skin. Zim pretends to start crying, as he says it is part of his terrible skin condition. Gets symphathy from class members, while Dib is scorned.

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8:00 a.m: The two are nearly at blows; Mrs. Bitters gives them the evil eye while, for the first time, removes glasses.

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8:04 a.m: Zim and Dib rush to their seats and pick up book. Mrs. Bitters is now content...or close to that. Starts reading Mad Magazine to ammuse herself.

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9:37 a.m: Reads poem she made to class. Is quite proud of her handiwork: Here is an excerpt:

_Vincent Malloy is seven years old  
He's always polite and does what he's told  
For a boy his age, he's considerate and nice  
But he wants to be just like Vincent Price_

_He doesn't mind living with his sister, dog and cats  
Though he'd rather share a home with spiders and bats  
There he could reflect on the horrors he's invented  
And wander dark hallways, alone and tormented_

_Vincent is nice when his aunt comes to see him_

_But imagines dipping her in wax for his wax museum....._

10: 00 a.m: Is forced to stop reading glorious masterpiece do to the fact that students are running around screaming. Drinks coffee and grades disatrous test papers. Reaches for her own sheet of crying, puking, frowny, and screaming stickers.

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11:00 a.m: Zim chose to do a project on how exactly large Dib's head is. Can't help, even though his report was wretchedly awful, giving him an A for effort.

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11:30 a.m: Is free of the gruesome children for a bit as they go to therapy inducing gym class. Turns on WK9 for your "funeral music today!"

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12:45 p.m: Well, all good things come to an end. Children come back from seperate classes. Begins Science: Tells them, that before the big bang, there was nothing there where their heads are located.

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1:00 p.m: Lunch. Children go off to lunch. Decides to ask for recipe on Bat Wings and Sheep Innards.

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1:30 p.m: Lunch, has concluded. Reads the children _Revolting Rhymes._

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2:15 p.m: The school day is over. Children celebrate by climbing out of the windows.

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3:00 p.m: Is still too ridiculously sunny, so drops self back into the coffin to rise once more at midnight. Shrugs as she does so. Nothing wrong with a LITTLE schedule, is there?

4:00 p.m: Drifts off into sweet dreams in which she turns into an enormous monster and is attacking Tokyo.....


End file.
